In the middle of the semi-circle of chairs, directly opposite our facilitator, I sat in floods of tears with 15 pairs of eyes on me. It was day 4 of the training, and it was only the day before that I had been waxing lyrical about how amazing I felt and how my heart was so open and the world was so wonderful and colourful and bright... I had been a virtual paragon of positive thinking. So what happened in that 24 hours to turn me into a wet mess?
If you find that you try all the positive thinking and law of attraction stuff, but only get so far before you start behaving in a way that is so not aligned with where you want to be, then you might have the same problem I did. Because you can do all the positive thinking in the world, and spout affirmations till the cows come home, but if you haven't done the deep diving into your emotions - the subconscious "baggage" that weighs you down whether you know it or not - then it might help for a bit, but the results will not be very long lasting.
It might even feel like you're wearing a mask of positivity when, inside, you just want to scream into your pillow or cry in a corner. The funny thing is, I needed to turn into a wet mess in order to remove my mask and really allow me to move forward in a positive way.
“I just don’t have the time.”
This is the #1 objection I hear from female entrepreneurs when I ask about doing the things that feel good. But I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t always need to take lots of time to give yourself a lift, refocus yourself, and start feeling better.
A quick fix might be just what you need, especially on those days where you are stressed, overwhelmed and exhausted, but stopping completely isn’t an option because there’s still lots more to get done before the end of the day and you’re on a deadline. When you find yourself in these situations, I recommend a three-minute pause to just shift your state (physical and mental) and reset yourself.
Here are three ways to feel good in 3 minutes (or less), all of which have been proven to reduce stress and boost the feel-good chemicals and hormones in your body. But I know you’re short on time, so I won’t get into the “science bit” today.
I was reading Aniela Gregorek's chapter in the book Tribe of Mentors by Tim Ferris* over the weekend and this quote really hit me...
To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children… to leave the world a bit better… to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
I won't lie, an involuntary sob even escaped (yes, I am a cryer). Aniela Gregorek is a former political refugee who is now a weightlifting champion, business owner and author. So her story was inspiring enough, but I couldn't quite work out why this particular quote affected me so deeply.
I realised that it's because it was a definition of success that had nothing to do with society's version - which basically amounts to being rich and skinny as far as I can tell (plus a whole host of other expectations based on gender, race, religion, community and more.) So it made me want to define success on my own terms.
Happy Valentine’s Day! It’s the day of luuuurve and the shops are making the most of people getting back on their feet after the festive spendathon and January sales. I’m really enjoying seeing hearts, roses and funny Valentines cards all over the place, and I certainly enjoy receiving flowers (that’s a hint hubby, if you’re reading.)
So we’re all being encouraged to express our love to our significant others and to ourselves in the personal development world. But this Valentine’s Day, I want to ask you a question…
Do you REALLY Love What You Do?
There’s a lot of talk about saving time, getting more done, and being more productive. But what would you fill up all that extra time with?
My last two blog posts have been about decreasing your workload and freeing up your time. However, if you don’t make a conscious decision to fill that time with something specific, you might just find more “busy work” drifts in to take the place of whatever tasks you’ve ditched, decreased or delegated.
I’m talking ancient wisdom here – as philosopher Aristotle said, “Nature abhors a vacuum.” Because it requires every space to be filled with something, even if that something just air. I believe the same phenomenon happens with time.
Simon Sinek's book, Start with Why, is awesome (watch his TED Talk for a flavour)... but I found myself in a bit of a conundrum...
You see, I find it a bit hard to see the future... or, should I say, to picture one specific future. Every time I do one of those visioning exercises or meditations, I get a different vision… that’s if I get anything at all. This means I have lots of why's - my family, my fella, and I could go on.
I've been my own boss for nearly 7 years (at the time of writing) and sometimes I've put myself through more than I'd ever have put up with from my old employers. Including working through the weekend on far too many occasions. But taking a break is vital to replenishing your energy for the week ahead. Here I four things I think every female entrepreneur should do at the weekend.