If you're struggling to make "feeling good" the norm rather than the exception, don't worry. It is possible to feel good more of the time but you may have got into some bad habits. To begin turning things around, have a read though these 10 mistakes and see if any of them resonate. I'll share some next steps at the end of the blog.
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Many of us know what makes us feel good, but don't do these things on a consistent basis. If that sounds familiar, you might find that you don't find that the feel-good activities you do have a lasting impact. For example, if you constantly swing between eating super-healthily and then eating lots of sugaring, processed foods, you probably find your energy levels fluctuate too.
I have noticed lots of women kicking their self-care and feel-good game up a notch when they start to feel bad, but then when they start feeling good again they just fall back into old habits. However, if you keep going, then you are less likely to feel bad in the first place (or at the very least, less often) - prevention beats cure every time.
For others, it's when things get hard that the feel-good stuff falls off the end of the to-do list. If you've ever got super busy with work and then completely neglected all acts of self-love (even the ones that don't take up lots of time) then you'll recognise this one.
As women, we are generally conditioned to look after others' needs before our own, which means that if someone else comes to you with something urgent or important for them, we feel like we should drop everything until they are OK. I've seen this pattern for women in terms of self-care, but also in relation to business - have you ever worked from home and spent more time organising the family than working on your business?
Sometimes we can mistake "uncomfortable" with "feeling bad" but a lot of the things you will do to grow your business will push you to the edges - or outside of - your comfort zone. It's helpful to learn how to feel in so you know the difference. There is also the discomfort of forgoing instant gratification for feeling good in the longer term.
For example, in the first two weeks of giving up caffeine, I almost gave up several times because of the headaches, fatigue and "fuzzy head." However, I knew instinctively that this was key to me feeling better more of the time, so I kept going, and in week three I saw my energy increase significantly so that I felt more consistently "awake" and clear-headed than when I was relying on caffeine for energy.
Having healthy role models to look up to and follow their lead is very different to comparing what you're doing to others, which can be a great way to put yourself off doing anything at all. They may be much further ahead in their journey than you, for example, in business they may have a whole team working for them, or in wellbeing/fitness, they may have been doing the "trial and error" thing for years before finding what works best for their body. Remember, what works for someone else may not work for you. So if you try something on recommendation and it doesn't work for you - even after giving it your best shot - that's OK, you just haven't found your "thing" yet.
If you're not sure what's the best way of doing things for you, try taking the Wealth Dynamics profile, it can open your eyes to why what you're doing does or doesn't work for you so you can start operating in alignment with your natural talents and strengths.
I'll start tomorrow/Monday/1st of the month/1st January/[insert your favourite procrastination date here.] It doesn't matter when you start - you can start at 2.00pm or on a Wednesday or on the 17th of the month or in June if it will start making you feel good sooner.
If you're a solopreneur, it can be tempting to try to do it all alone and figure things out all by yourself. If you're not the kind of person who is very self-motivated (and it's OK if you're not) then getting help from an accountability buddy, coach or mentor might be just the thing to get you started and keep you going. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness (yes, even if you're a super-independent only child or firstborn!)
There are a lot of "shoulds" about, and a lot of money is being made by people telling you what you "should" do or "should" want. However, it might not be right for you. One persons "feelgood" is another person's "no way!" So if that person did a 30 day yoga challenge and the idea makes you want to pull your eyelashes out one by one, go to that dance class instead if that's your thing. Or if the "laptop lifestyle" of a digital nomad looks super glamorous but you'd rather be at home nurturing to your garden, work towards that instead.
Catherine Watkin of Selling from the Heart did a great video and blog about creating the business of YOUR dreams (not anyone else's). You can watch/read it here.
Sometimes we do or don't do the things that feel good - whether it's going for that speaking gig or getting out for a walk or eating healthily - because there are underlying, unhelpful, emotions stopping us. Feelings that you don't deserve to feel good or negative thoughts about your body or the way we look can create a brick wall between us and our dreams. You might be aware of these thoughts and feelings, or they might be well hidden by your subconscious. Maybe you don't want to deal with the negatives, but shining a light on them will help you to dissolve your blocks and get unstuck.
If you've read these 10 mistakes and are thinking "Holy moly! I'm doing ALL of these things!" don't despair. Pick the one that you feel is having the biggest negative impact and start there. You'll probably find it has a knock on effect on the others. And remember, it's OK to ask for help!
If you've read through this list and spotted one or more mistake that you are making, here are some questions to ask yourself to help you to begin to get unstuck and work out what to do next. So get out your journal and start writing...
Have you identified mistakes you've been making that have been stopping you from feeling good after reading this? Which one can you start to turn around to make the biggest impact? What are your answers to the questions above? I love to read your tips, tricks and insights, so please share in the comments box below.
I am passionate about women in business achieving success in a way that works for them and making the changes they need to make in order to make that happen. However, though change can be exciting it can also be scary, triggering behaviours that might not make sense to you (procrastination or self-sabotage anyone?). I help entrepreneurial women to navigate change with more clarity, confidence and courage so that these behaviours can be dissolved and they can move forward with ease and flow. If that sounds good, I'd love to hear from you!